Originally when Mikey asked me to contribute the site I was really hesitant. I put it off and forgot about it for nearly a year. I knew he kept up with it pretty regularly, and I always read his entries and even retweeted a couple of the quotes that I liked. But, all in all, I never made the effort to do anything for the site myself. I gave roundabout answers and definitely didn’t pursue a commitment. Somehow something changed for me within this year though; when we discussed it again a couple of months ago, I pushed back my fears and decided to write.
You see, I’m not a writer in profession, and I’m not a positive person by nature. It seemed pretty odd for me to write for a blog that was about inspiration. The way I viewed it, inspiration was largely linked with positivity. How in the heck am I supposed to give others hope when often enough I have none myself? Nonetheless, I gave it a shot. I enjoy writing and I felt like my love for it would shine through somehow.
The first article I wrote gained very few views and I felt pretty distraught over it. It was almost as if the readers could see straight into my soul. They knew my heart wasn’t in it. There was no connection. I’ll admit, it wasn’t my best literary piece, but, despite that, I wanted to know my voice was heard. It’s so strange how that is. We’re all struggling in our own ways trying to be remembered. Whether it be through our words or our actions. Isn’t that what life is about? Making a difference?
This past year has really taught me a lot about myself and the world around me. I’ve struggled through a lot. I started my own business, quit a job with a difficult boss, struggled with rapid amounts of weight gain (20 pounds in one semester), and there always was and will be the eternal strenuous situation with my family. Really, the list is endless. The fight through it all is what brings me here today, though. My perseverance taught me so much and helped me grow into the budding adult that I am.
I’m young, possibly younger than many of you, yet the things I’ve encountered have been less than pretty. We all have our problems, but the battle through it is what gives us hope and inspiration. My lack of positivity isn’t my crutch for my column. In fact, I think it’s my advantage. That realization is what changed my view on this literary journey.
The second article I wrote was definitely different in all aspects to the first. I began to write more casually. I dropped the newspaper style and I wrote from the heart; I wrote on a topic that came from my experience. Within the first day of publishing that second article, I realized that honesty really was the best policy. It wasn’t about gathering a following; it was about letting my life and advice shine through my words. I genuinely felt good after writing that entry.
Personal growth can come in many forms. This blog has allowed to me live and learn and dictate my struggles. There’s no need for a therapist when you can express yourself to a crowd with a veil on yourself. I hope that my reflections can help you on your journey through life. Remember that life is a journey that is based on the decisions you make, not the one’s others make. There’s a quote that I really love from The Wedding Date, “Every woman has the exact love life she wants.” And I always adjust it to “Every person has the exact life that they want.” I find that it’s true. Sure, there are things that we don’t ask for, but there’s always room for improvement. Be that change. State of happiness is always contingent to state of mind.