- Those that have explored life but have yet to discover what to do
- Those that have discovered what they want to do with their life but have yet to explore
It so happens that I’ve always considered myself in this latter category. I’m blessed that I’ve always had a solid direction in what I wanted to accomplish in life. I’ve learned to be more ambitious than most – perhaps due to being raised in a protective environment. I know what I want, but not quite always been easy for me to get there. It’s a process.
Similarly, many close to me have seen a lot in life. They’ve traveled, spent time with many people to learn from different worldviews and wisdom, and yet they are left unsettled – wondering what their role in this bigger picture is for them. These are the handful of us that are still unsure about our careers, our relationships, or what direction we are putting our lives in. Is it the right one?
Both share a common thread – Doubt. I know what I want out of life, but I doubt whether or not I can accomplish it. I know how to live life to the fullest, but I doubt whether or not it will make a difference. I know this is what will make me happy now, but I doubt I will be happy in the future. I know this is what will make me proud in the future, but I doubt it will be worth it in the present.
It’s a funny thing – trying to make sense of our Quarterlife problems. The key is understanding that everyone has them. Even after quarterlife. Sometime we string ourselves up in this endless doubt. I am guilty of it myself. You allow your own words and thoughts weigh you down – second guess yourself. “I can’t do it.” “It’s not fair.” “I don’t have the energy.” “It’s not enough.” And understandingly – doubt is supposed to be a tool to help us understand our limits, understand our feelings, and understand what path we are going to choose in our lifetimes. But what important things are you missing out on because you let doubt cloud your judgement instead of trusting in the process?
I’ve made a lot of major decisions in my life. Like deciding that I wasn’t going to become a doctor. Deciding that I was going to pursue a practical business degree instead of pursuing my dreams in writing, or something more artistic and creative. I doubted that I could be a doctor better than my classmates. I doubted that I could make a living with the level of talent I had with my writing. The decision to stop studying medicine – probably a good call. I wasn’t passionate about science as I thought I’d be. The decision to stop pursuing writing? Well – that one I will never know.
You have to trust in the process. The same exercise that I did in coming up with career options, I’ve had to do with personal life options as well. I’m sure we’ve all been in the boat. What is the relationship that I’m going to have with my family? Do I want to spend the rest of my life with the person that I am with? What city am I going to live in? Sometimes there will never be the one answer. I sometimes still consider myself a romantic – believing in idealistic outcomes. If I can trust that I’m going to live a fulfilling lifestyle – then I will. So far, I’ve made some good decisions in my life where I feel my path can be golden. I’ve just yet to experience and explore everything life has to offer to get me there.
Spend some time each day freeing yourself from the doubtful outcomes. Take time to allow your own words and thoughts to lift you up: “I’m the best I can be at this moment in time.” “This is a great feeling.” “I’m going to make a difference today by being a part of someone’s life in a positive way.” “I’m an awesome person.” “I’m an awesome parent.” “I’m a great friend.” “I can do this work better than most.” “I am going to be the leader of my own potential.”
You should be able to wake up every morning and say to yourself that you are an amazing person.
One thing we should rely on is in the human potential. Everyone has a measure of human potential. Some people we interact with – you know there is a vast amount of potential in them and you want to support them and see them push it through to it’s fullest. Others are very satisfied and comfortable with the decisions they make to just be happy enjoying what’s in front of them – knowing that there is security in the patterns of life they live. Both are perfectly good outcomes. Just believe. Trust in the process.