LCBD: This year it’s the little things

blogentry_kristaroseHappy new year! I think this year will be an odd one!

As I reflect on 2012, I think this year has got to be better than my last. I think of the blessings, trials, and tribulations that God gave me last year, most especially the trials and tribulations, and how God has strengthened me.

Living with lupus has taught me that I have to take life piece by piece, and measure what energy I can exert on what. I have learned to appreciate the little things, the little things that make like just a bit easier. For example, my parents have been visiting for a few months and my dad likes to take Twix out in the morning. It’s nice to be able to sleep in and also not have Michael’s work interrupted in the morning because Dad can take out my dog.

It’s even the things we can’t control…like my uncle being our guardian angel and painting the scratches on my car so it wouldn’t rust. How happy he was when he heard that we called him our guardian angel!

It’s the little things in life. If we notice and appreciate the little things in life, it will help make us that much happier to notice the little things we do for one another…and the little things that make us happy. I can still remember my student just coming by with a little chocolate turkey “just because” and that completely making my week.

So remember to help with the little things, and to appreciate the little things…and that will make this year a great year.

Wreck it Ralph

blogentry_kristaroseMichael and I went to watch “Wreck it Ralph” last night. It was the first time in a long time that we’ve actually went to the movie theatre together. It’s always nice to be able to get out and just be able to spend time together.

For two gamers like ourselves, it was such a cute movie and very creative. Ultimately, the movie was about bullying and accepting yourself. It reminded us also that by desiring to be on top and being greedy with winning, can destroy you.

Disney and other companies always try to teach people (mainly society’s kids) lessons while entertaining. Shouldn’t that be how we live life? Not necessarily to “teach lessons” but to do good and influence others to do good? That’s what LCBD is about…doing good and influencing others to do good, too! Accepting others with all their fault, all their defects…learning that sometimes their defects are their greatest strengths and help them to truly shine.

What can you do to live your life in a way that is inspiring to others?

LCBD: Always be awesome.

blogentry_kristaroseI know that that statement to “always be awesome” is a pretty high demand, but I think we should always strive to be awesome. I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately (now don’t think I’m being all dark, I’ve had my reasons) but you should always live each day as if it were your last.

Yesterday, Michael and I talked about how we resolve fighting and that we always try to leave each other in the best attitudes. I never want to be angry and say something and leave to go somewhere and, God forbid, it be the last thing that we say to each other. I know that he will always know that I love him, but that would just be so hard to live with. Not just with Michael, but anyone.

It’s been ten years, almost eleven, since my dear friend, Amy, passed away. The week she passed away, we also lost my Lolo (grandpa), his best friend, and my neighbor, Carmen, who was also like a grandpa to me. That was a rough week, but what was hardest about that week were the things I didn’t do. I saw Amy and was going to go and say “hi” to her before she was headed back to Pepperdine, but I didn’t go right away, thinking I’d be able to say “hi” later, only to find out that was the last chance I would have had to talk to her. Being upset from losing Lolo and Amy already that week, when I saw Carmen next door I had ducked back into the house so I didn’t have to interact with anyone since I was just not in the best mood, I came back not more than five minutes later to an ambulance taking Carmen to the hospital, missing my second “last chance” that week. Since then I’ve always tried to aim to apologize immediately, and even more so just try not to say things I would regret or things that would be the last thing I say to people.

My high school statistics teacher just passed away from ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). I found out she had ALS the same week that I was diagnosed with lupus back in May. She was a wonderful teacher, always kind. She really took the time to take care of her students. She spent all her lunches in her classroom tutoring students who were struggling, but also spending time with all the students who just wanted to “hang out” with her. My friends and I had our own designated table in her classroom at lunch. She was a great teacher and will truly be missed. She was certainly someone who was always awesome, and she will be remembered by all as an all-around genuinely wonderful person. I can’t write just how incredibly wonderful a person she was. I don’t think anyone would be able to write all of the wonderful things she has said and done because everything she did was just great. She truly loved her students and it showed, and they loved her because she cared so much. RIP Christy French. We love you.

LCBD: Accepting Help

blogentry_kristaroseEver since I was a little girl I have been ill. Being in the hospital and doctors’ offices and everything in between limited my independence to do things. Whenever I could, I did my best to take care of myself so others did not have to. Of course, my mom and dad were always there to remind me, but I tried to be independent as much as possible. What lupus has taught me is that, unfortunately, I am not super woman and I can’t do everything by myself anymore. I must depend on the help of others, but most especially Michael.

Lupus has truly helped me to better understand the partnership that I have with Michael. Even though we have been together for over six years, we have truly learned and valued being partners in the past year.

Yes, we’ve dealt with “tough stuff” before…very tough stuff. With Michael’s dad passing away, and growing up and getting apartments and moving cross country from each other and starting new jobs…we’ve been through tough stuff. However, with lupus, it is the very first thing we have really had to handle by ourselves.

Of course we have our family and our parents, but we are in town by ourselves learning how to balance work, doctors, and life. It is a big balance and compromise and I have to learn to ask for help and accept it. I have to be humble enough to understand that I am in need of help and all Michael is doing is helping me to be better.

This is like everything: We feel we can always handle anything on our own. We must learn that it is ok to accept help. Accepting help is another way to connect and work together with others. Accepting help is human.

LCBD: Taking Care of Yourself

blogentry_kristaroseIt’s not always easy taking care of yourself. It’s hard to learn how to be “selfish” and learn that taking care of yourself isn’t actually being selfish, but being healthy. I play this everlasting fight with myself about making people happy and taking care of myself. I always bent over backwards to make people happy, and I still do, but I forget that now I am much more limited.

Since lupus has started to consume my life, I have missed five weddings, a family reunion, and my grandma’s 90th birthday. I know that everyone understands and everyone wants me to get better, but it always pangs me that I cannot be with loved ones and that I feel I am letting them down.

My newest medication, an oral chemo, has been really making me ill and my mom asked if my dad could come and be of help. I told her that I’d rather he wait to go with her because it would make me so sad to see my dad sad.

I wish I could hide my illness, it’s not always so invisible, so that others could not have to worry. I wish I could just make it so everyone could be at ease, but I guess in a way, that isn’t taking care of myself if I pretend that it’s not there.

We have to face our fears and conquer them before they consume us. My fear is that my illness will consume me, but with my love one’s support, it will not. I am so thankful that my family and friends help me understand that if I don’t take care of myself, I may never be able to do much of anything, but if I focus right now on my illness, that will help me to heal and help me to get strong again to live my day to day life.

LCBD: Stop judging me! Living with the invisible.

blogentry_kristaroseGrowing up, I’ve always been different. I was constantly sick, whether it be with my asthma, allergies, or some sort of infection I picked up from a classmate. My family, my doctors, and myself always knew I had a weak immune system and that I got sick easily, but little did we know how serious my illness was.

As a young child, I became a “sudden death, steroid dependent asthmatic,” which meant that I took a nasty steroid called “prednisone” – just 10 mg. of prednisone can help make swelling go down, but it also can make you retain water, gain weight like crazy, and have anger issues…yes, the steroid effect is like that of the hulk, except you don’t always turn green, but you can get nauseated if you don’t take it at the right time. I was taking up to 100 mg of prednisone a day. “Sudden death, steroid dependent asthmatic” also meant that when we would go to the doctor’s office when my physician was out of town we would be sent directly to the emergency room to be dealt with.

Asthma, by the way, is an auto-immune disease that, in time, may become dormant and no longer an ever present issue in people’s lives, many people who had childhood asthma have “grown out of it” as adults. Ironically, some people “grow into it” as adults. Neither was the case for me, for I have had and always will have asthma.

In addition to my asthma, my constant allergies caused me to have ear infections and sinus infections, constantly. My lowered immune system increased my likelihood of catching the common cold and the flu, no matter how many flu shots I had. The amount of medications I took, the highest I ever got as a child was something like thirty (30) pills a day, affected my body in more ways than I will ever find out, but it had some fairly unfortunate side effects. Starting out as a petite little girl like my mother, my weight increased with the steroids, as my bones, ironically, decreased in calcium, and the ability to absorb it, because of the steroids. This combination of weakening bones and lack of calcium causes a tiny little seventy pound three foot nothing girl to almost double her weight in a few months, which made me probably one of the youngest people in the world to have osteoporosis. (It didn’t help that one time I went to the doctor’s office and the nurse weighed my backpack and it weighed over 40 lbs…but that is a totally different story.)

Throughout this whole time, if you looked at me, you wouldn’t think I was sick. And when you could see that I was sick, I was still judged. I became judged by the eczema on my skin, being seen as unclean and unkempt by those who didn’t understand. I became judged when I couldn’t run around during P.E. because of a coughing fit. Judged that I was “so fat.” – To clarify, in talking to a former classmate of mine, she simply put it, “OH! I never thought you were fat, I just thought you got really, really pudgy.” Yes, thanks for that one.

I know people would look at me and look at my mom and judge why she had a fat child, what was this mother doing not caring for her child. Little did they know just how much this mother bent over backwards to just have her child have a semi-normal life. This mother, a chemist and college professor in her early twenties and got a scholarship in the Philippines to study for her masters in Purdue, sacrificed working full time be at home with her children and obtained a job at her daughter’s elementary school to make sure she could always be there to give a sense of security for the teachers who were terrified that this child may just drop at any moment, or as I thought at the time, to embarrass me for life. Thanks to my mom for being the awesome person she is, no one else thought it was embarrassing because everyone else loved her for the super amazing person I know her to be today.

After years of seeing local specialists for all different types of doctors (by then I had seen dermatologists, allergists, respiratory therapists, asthma specialists, immunologists, psychologists, and of course, many of our local emergency rooms), it was time to look state-wide to solve my seemingly incurable disease. In the fourth grade I started going to Stanford University, a three and a half hour drive from home, sacrificing my Thursdays in school (so what did Mr. Eaton teach in class every fourth Thursday?), to see an asthma and immunologist specialist. There I remember playing Bronkie the Bronchiasaurus (the Asthmatic Dinosaur with bronchitis…get it??) video game, a game that taught asthmatic children about taking medicines regularly and avoiding triggers…if anyone comes across this game, it means a lot to me, and I would love to have a copy…it was made for the Super Nintendo console…just saying.

After the monthly trips to Stanford were still not enough, I went to National Jewish Hospital in Denver, CO. There I missed over a month of school (which is honestly why I don’t know my preposition poem, I’m really sorry Mrs. Martin, but thank you for still passing me with flying colors, I know my essays sufficed) to be poked, prodded, stuffed, and worse, to try and diagnose me more. After the trip to NJH, I came home to monthly IV-IGEs for my allergies, an experimental monthly (or more) IV treatment that had to be administered in the hospital. These experimental treatments were thousands of dollars a drop, so thank God that we had insurance. The experimental part of the IV was that it was for people who had way too high an IGE count to take allergy shots because they are too allergic to one or many things (in my case, one page three columns full on what I was tested on). This IV treatment helped me tremendously to at least be able to ween from daily steroids, but did not reduce my IGE levels enough to ever start allergy shots. Unfortunately, this was an experimental drug and it was not approved by the FDA for reasons unknown to me, so I am unable to receive further treatment if I wanted to try the therapy again.

The experimental drug changed my life and I was able to ween off my prednisone, as I said, and just maintain regular corti-steroids (inhaled steroids) for my asthma and take my medication to be a fairly normal asthmatic child with allergies and constant sinus infections. My first email address was “allergicasthmatic” and I still have it until this day because it was so much a part of my life, and it taught my best friends how to spell “asthmatic.”

Because I was constantly sick with allergies and asthma and aches and pains attributed to my weight, my mom taught me that I will always have these things so I still needed to go to school. At the time I thought it was horrid that my mother would send me to school sick, but when I wasn’t contagious, I was only a threat to myself…and now? Now I am so grateful that my parents gave me an amazingly strong work ethic.

As I had mentioned before, and this one is the one that is still hard for me to share, I was having some “mental instability.” The reason I have a hard time sharing this one is because of all the stigmas that come with being sick, but most especially mental illness. People joke and say people are “not right in the head,” but some people truly are, and I am one of them. Does that mean I am insane? Possibly, but really not. It means I have my quirks, and I have my days.

I have a mix of the whole alphabet attributed to my craziness…PTSD for all the trauma from doctors offices, emergency rooms, asthma and allergy attacks, etc. (To this day I can only remember being in hospitals and not actually having the attacks, except for the time I was older, but when they were really bad, I don’t remember them as well. The doctor’s say that I have blacked it out in my memory), ADHD (This shocked my teachers because I was, “so smart” – which is not to say anything bad about my teachers, but to say “Hey, people who are sick can be smart, too.” Many people with asperger’s and autism are extremely smart, but you have to learn how to accentuate their strengths, like any person.), OCD (Partially known as Type A personality), Bi-Polar (not extreme, but known to have a sudden mood swing…I think it’s actually just called being a woman…or to not be sexist, and honestly be accurate, being human), and a slew of other things that I don’t quite remember. I also suffered from, and still do, anxiety and depression. This does not mean that I am constantly dark and moody, I hope you can tell from my posts that I am an extremely vibrant, passionate, and cheery person – the Devil won’t get me, as much as he will try.

What all these things mean, and have meant, is that I have to try my hardest not to get my mood to get me down. There are days where it does, but those are few and far between, and thankfully not the full day. I mean, really, who wouldn’t see that a girl could get depressed because she can’t sleepover at friends house because the parents are worried that she will have an asthma attack (and not understanding this until she was in her 20s), she can’t have a water balloon fight in the summer because she’s allergic to latex, she can’t eat the cake at her friend’s birthdays because of her allergies, she can’t run around care free because she has to carry a big emergency kit everywhere she goes…again, not feeling sorry for myself, just trying to add a little insight into life with invisible diseases. People didn’t see what was in my forty pound backpack, only that it was forty pounds. In it were emergency inhalers, emergency nebulizers, latex free tourniquets and gloves, and more emergency items.

People judge what they do not understand. People who aren’t sick judge those who are saying they don’t take care of themselves. People judge those with depression and say they should just be happy and disregard what a person is feeling. It doesn’t matter if the person shouldn’t feel the way they do, many times they know that and they don’t want to feel that way, and they still do. People shouldn’t judge others because you never know what is going on in someone else’s life.

Before college, I found out that I lacked in Vitamin D, absorbed from the sun, and was at less than 10% of a normal persons vitamin D levels…so that’s why for college I moved to a place that has sun only three months of the year, haha. Throughout college, I continued to get constant  sinus infections and asthma attacks and constant backaches. I slept a lot, sometimes for sixteen hours a day (again, how did I graduate?). I attributed weight gain, headaches, and all my aches and sleep disorders to stress and college, thinking it would get better in the real world.

After graduation, I started working for the Walt Disney Company and also renewed my devotion to going to yoga to try and get fit. Unfortunately, with an extremely hectic schedule I was unable to continue with yoga. I started to get lots of back pains and was sore all the time. I worked in the sun and carried a big camera during part of my Disney career and I attributed the back pains, soreness and tiredness to that. When I moved to working indoors, I attributed to the fact that I was “too fat” and the fact that I was a poor college alternating from my futon and my inflatable bed because I was too cheap for a mattress, knowing that I may move.

Finally, when I moved back to Notre Dame and got a big girl bed and still had the constant aches and pains and lack of sleep, I knew it wasn’t because of the yoga I stopped a year before or anything in between. The aches and pains had gotten worse. At times I couldn’t move my hands, I couldn’t make fists, my back would stiffen up for no reason, I’d get a crick in my neck that I couldn’t move for days. So, I went to my doctor. My doctor immediately did blood tests and sent me to a rheumatologist, Dr. MaryAnn Domingo. God works in mysterious ways, Dr. Domingo graduated from med school in the class of my uncle in the Philippines. When I found this out, I knew that I was in good hands.

After many tests and trials, and still continuing today, I was recently diagnosed with Lupus, a long-term autoimmune disorder that can basically affect any and all organs of the body, that includes skin, kidneys, liver, digestion…I could keep going, but if you really care to know, here is an incomplete, but already long, list of a lot of the organs in our body: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_the_names_of_all_the_organs_in_the_human_body.  Along with lupus comes its good friend Fibromyalgia, which basically just causes constant pain around the body because of overactive nerves. In part, all of these multiple diseases I have makes so much sense.

Lupus affects the body because it makes my immune system attack my body. My body sees not only foreign substances, but my own body, as something that does not belong and therefore, my body attacks my body. My own self-destruct, a slow and painful self-destruct, but none the less, a self destruct of my very own. This causes my body to over work in many areas. Fibromyalgia makes sense because it’s an overworking of nerves. Mental illnesses make sense because it’s an over working of the brain. Allergies make sense because my body, again, does not see the difference between my body and an allergen and overworks to get rid of the allergens. Asthma makes sense because of my poor over worked lungs. My lowered immune system makes sense, simply because I have a lowered immune system.

The people I tell that I have lupus think having lupus is terrible and that the pain I am going through is so unfair. Many people tell me how sorry for me they are. For me, lupus makes sense. Lupus is a God-send. Lupus proves that there is nothing wrong with me because something is wrong with me. It proves that I was trying to take care of myself and do things rights, but it wasn’t working because I have an incurable disease. It wasn’t my fault that I was sick all the time, it was my body’s fault, the way I was built.

It wasn’t my fault that I didn’t sleep much at night because of my aches pains and insomnia. Remember, how I said I slept for 16 hours? Well, that happened a few times, but I know that a really rare case I actually I slept for almost a whole day. Michael had come at 7 pm for dinner and I said I wasn’t hungry and was going to take a nap, he returned later and my roommate told him the nap turned into full on sleeping. He came the next day to pick me up for class and I would not wake up. I didn’t wake up until around dinner time that day, needless to say, I was hungry that time.

I was actually judged on this in college. People thought I didn’t take care of myself and that I was not a good influence. These were people I trusted and confided in. Unfortunately, my relationship and understanding of these people has never been the same when I found this out. At the time, I knew it wasn’t my fault that I had weird sleep patterns and that I was sick, it wasn’t something new to me, but something I had fought since I was younger.

My mom actually had one of my dearest teachers, Mr. Eaton, have a talk with me in elementary school about going to sleep at the right time and trying to get the correct amount of sleep. It’s ok, Mama, I forgive you because you didn’t know I couldn’t sleep, just that I wasn’t sleeping and you wanted me to be healthy.

However, these people who I cared for didn’t really know me, and didn’t ask or try, but they didn’t know I’d always been sick my whole life. They didn’t know that I have a disease that causes my body to self-destruct and that if I try and strengthen my immune system, it kills me more. (I used to not understand why when I took care of myself I seemed to get sicker. It wasn’t in my mind! I get more sick trying to strengthen my immune system because my immune system is what is attacking me!!!) These people judged me, and judged me blindly.

I’ve learned to deal with judgement, it comes with the territory of having invisible aches and pains. It makes me stronger, it makes me know that I am a fighter. I truly believe that my ability to be as functional as I am proves how much we should not judge others.

Lupus affects my ability to function sometimes. My lupus is a reawakening of how much we shouldn’t judge others. We never understand what is going on in other people’s lives. The person who cut you off may have been rushing to get to their child who broke their first bone. The person who was short to you may have just been told that they have cancer. The person who asks for the wheelchair when going to Disneyland, saying they can’t travel in the park without it…well, they just might have lupus and can get to and from the car but once they head to the park it’s too much walking and it’s too exhausting. To all the wonderful guests at Disney, I’m sorry if I participated in the judging and making fun of the fact that you rented an electrical wheelchair…that may have been one of my lowest points.

The thing I’ve had to learn with lupus is to accept that I am human and that I am weak. I suffer from the same judgement I wish others not to do upon me or others. I am ashamed to know that down the road I may need to use a walker or be in a wheelchair. Why? It shows I am weak. However, I am a hypocrite when I say “don’t judge others” because I judge myself. This is still something that I have to learn. While I learn to not judge myself, I ask others to please learn to not judge others. Give patience. Give love. Spread kindness. Make an LCBD and make it today.

-Kree

 

Serenity Now!

blogentry_kristarose

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Full Original Copy of the Serenity Prayer

by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

 

The serenity prayer is one of my most favorite prayers, albeit I don’t say it enough. Ironically, I have an angel figurine and a cross on my makeshift apartment mantel with the serenity prayer and I am still not reminded enough to pray it. Perhaps I need another angel at my work desk. 🙂

I just discovered this “complete” serenity prayer, and have found it to be truly what I should pray, what I should ask for. Acceptance. Understanding. Openness.

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

This is a given, the standard serenity prayer…

God, help me to learn to accept things I cannot change…a reminder, in a sense, that the only thing that you can “control” is yourself. And remembering, ultimately, that God is in control. Everything happens for a reason, His reason.

God, give me courage to change things I can change…We ask God “WHY!?” all the time, when we should be asking “How?” How can we help this person develop a better attitude? How can we grow from this experience? How can I help? What do I have the power to change? What is the positive that I can take away from this? The biggest thing to change is always Attitude.

God, give me the wisdom to know the difference…how often are we caught between “let it be” and “be the change you want to see” asking for wisdom, which truly is different than knowledge, helps us to discern what to do and when…when is appropriate to change something, and when is it better to accept it? A thought that comes to mind is “hate the sin, not the sinner” – change acts, and not a person. If someone does something you don’t like, don’t retaliate, rather, speak up, tell them how that action made you feel and let them change their ways. Again, each person truly only has “control” over themselves. Again, always remembering that God is in control.

Now, that was something that many people hear time and time again, so what about this next part…which I am grateful that I have found, but bummed I hadn’t found it sooner…but again, it’s all in God’s time and not ours…

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace

Live each moment as if it were your last. Live like you were dying. Live life to the fullest. – These are all inspirational sayings to live every moment…but when do we hear to take our hardships as part of life? In a sense, this is like the mix of the saying “stuff happens” with “life is good.” Everyone gets sick, or knows someone who gets sick. Everyone dies. Everyone loses once in a while. However, I don’t believe that there is ever a person who hasn’t been “winning” at least once in their life. They have a life, afterall…and isn’t that precious? No one is unloved, I know that there are many people, myself included, that pray for those who are “forgotten” or “alone”…realizing that they can’t truly be “forgotten” if we remember them…but also remembering that God loves each and every one of us. Everything happens for a reason.

To this day, I can remember this old man living on the streets of Chicago. Michael and I had made a daytrip to Chicago but we had not brought much money with us. We could only afford for us to get one piece of food from Jamba Juice each. Michael got a small drink and I got the oatmeal, thinking we would then be able to share. When we got outside, in freezing snowy temperatures, we saw an old man asking for money and food. I didn’t even have to look at Michael to know he felt the same and we gave him our warm oatmeal. The smile on that man’s face warmed are hearts for the trip home. Michael and I always remember this man, and although he is not the reason I started to do service, he is a reason I continue to do service when I can.

Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is

Remember that Jesus came down to save us from our sins…we are far from perfect, no matter how delusional we may be. Nobody is perfect except Him.

Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right

Sound familiar? This is semi-derived from the “Our Father.”

“Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in Heaven”

Trust in God. Trust that He knows what He is doing…because He does. We ask God to make earth more like Heaven. Grant that there be peace and serenity (no pun intended) here on earth.

Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Again, trust in God, ask for wisdom and courage to be happy with this life…and then how much happier will we be when we are with Him in Heaven? Infinitely happier.

LCBD: Driving

blogentry_kristaroseI was driving home when I saw a driver scoot forward on a red light and then blatantly ignore the light and turn…not just drive through the light…but turn. Since the person ahead did so, the person immediately after this car did the same. Five seconds later the light turned green.

Were those thirty seconds really that precious that it was worth your life? It’s like those texting ads that say “Was that worth your life?” Trust me, it never is. I remember back when cell phones were still very limited and people waited the 10 minute drive (or more) before calling someone/checking messages. People waited the 20 second ride up the elevator to find out the “news,” seriously, do you need to know which celebrity just announced that she was pregnant, and not only pregnant, but seven months pregnant? Now you want to know, don’t you? (Katy Perry…just in time for her movie, just sayin’). Now that I’m really getting off topic…

Seriously, when driving, when texting, when doing anything that could even be remotely dangerous for you or those around you, think “is this worth my life? is this worth another person’s life?” Do you really want to get in an accident because you had to send your best friend “lol” right at that very second? Do you want to get in an accident because you couldn’t wait those five seconds? Thank goodness it didn’t happen, but not waiting those five seconds could have meant that driver spent the rest of their life on a respirator or in a wheel chair…so I ask you to please think and make little changes to make a big difference when you drive…

  • Set the radio before you put your car in gear
  • Put your cell phone/purse in the trunk so you won’t be tempted
  • Leave 15 minutes early so the red lights aren’t an issue…and if you get caught at a red light take it as time to talk to people who are with you and spend time with them while you aren’t driving…OR if you are by yourself, appreciate those 5-30 seconds of peace and quiet and waiting
  • Take the bus to help reduce your carbon footprint, or walk to help reduce your waistline.

This are just a few little changes that can make a big difference…can you think of more?

Losing control…that you never had

blogentry_kristaroseHas your mind ever been completely blank yet racing at the same time? That is kinda how I’ve felt lately.

As I told one of my closest friends that I felt that I was losing control of my life…she kindly reminded me of something important. You are never in control, God is in control.

As I feel that nothing is progressing at work and my health is in limbo and I’m moving to a new place I feel like there is nothing I can do to try and regain some control and balance in my life…but my friend is right…God is in control and I just need to trust in His divine plan.

Let go and let God.

–Kree