In Which Paul Learns to Dress for Himself
A long time ago I had a crush on this girl that I knew I didn’t have a good shot at dating. She was a lot more charismatic and I was incredibly shy and not what you may consider as a desirable guy what-so-ever. Terrible hairstyle. Geeky glasses. And probably the most telling was my terrible sense of style which at that point in time most likely only consisted of out-of-style department store jeans and a drab department store sweater that was probably 2 sizes too big. Needless to say, if I had any intention of dating this girl, I would have needed a serious upgrade.
The opportunity came up actually. Likely as a fun joke between my friends that perhaps Paul could be molded into a boyfriend type. It was high school, I’m sure some girls thought that “project boyfriends” were fun to at least think about. I went to the mall with this girl and some friends and went to try on a bunch of different types of clothes and walked out of the mall spending more money on an outfit than I ever have (at that age, I’m sure I only wanted to spend money on video games). It was a skater/punk type outfit and I remember wearing it a few times in high school thinking maybe I could actually pull this look off.
Well, I never got the opportunity to date that girl. There were a lot more things “wrong” with me than just my sense of style. The truth of the matter is that I was still at an impressionable age where I felt I needed to change who I was in order to become the person I wanted to be – which was someone that could actually have a girlfriend.
Growing up as a nerdy guy was very lonely. I knew the types of girls I was attracted to and they were the type not to speak to me unless they needed some help with homework. Throughout my early adulthood, I learned a lot about compromise. Yes, I needed some serious upgrades to be competitive in the dating market, but I could make those upgrades on my own terms. Something are easier – like getting a nice haircut, wearing clothes that actually fit vs. being too big for you. I like to think that I’ve changed my style a little bit, granted I mostly wear suits to work now.
I learned that I can improve myself: the way I look, what I wear, what I eat, working out, etc – without compromising who I am inside. The more I addressed my insecurities, the easier it was for me to be the man that I felt I always wanted to be, but that people couldn’t see past. I can wear nice fitting jeans and a Power Rangers graphic tee. As long as it’s fitted and looks presentable, people can get both the nicely dressed and geeky Paul at the same time.
I’ve noticed that sometimes people just want to be able to see that their potential mates are capable of taking care of themselves. Sure, guys can make you feel safe, make you laugh, be romantic – but if they can’t take care of themselves (which is most apparent by their appearance), how can anyone expect them to take care of someone else?
Well, I didn’t wear that skater outfit for too long. It just wasn’t me. I still am a hopeless romantic, and I hope that someone out there will be able to see past my insecurities – or even embrace them and help me through them. We need to keep motivated to take care of ourselves. Whether it’s staying healthy to live longer with our loved ones or dressing nicer and being more presentable so we can be proud of the way we carry ourselves in the world. I feel I’ve certainly gotten more vain throughout the years, but for me, I needed to be able to squash all of my insecurities from growing up. It’s important that I can be proud of myself for who I am. What’s outside can be just as beautiful as what’s inside – as long as you’re always true to yourself.
2 Comments
I’ll tell you what! It’s a lesson I’ll never forget! I spent $80 on that outfit…
That’s the smart tihiknng we could all benefit from.